Kelly Heath

The Surrendered Life

Connect With Your Kids, Family, Parenting ·

Be the First to Say You’re Sorry (7 Ways to Connect with Your Teen: Part 6)

It happens to all of us. We are in the middle of what we think is a perfectly normal conversation with our teen, when suddenly voices get louder, tears fall, and all you-know-what breaks loose!

Or maybe we make a promise with every intention of fulfilling it; only, we forget to check our schedule first or something important pops up. We try to explain or justify our predicament, but our words ring hollow to the disappointed ears of our teen.

Sooner or later, we all find ourselves in conflict of some sort with our teenagers, wondering who will be the first to say sorry. Can I give you some advice?

Most of the time, it should be you.

Wait, what?…

Connect With Your Kids, Family, Uncategorized ·

Take Advantage of their Rhythms (7 Ways to Connect with Your Teen, Part 5)

One of the first things I learned in Student Ministry is that teens have certain rhythms: patterns and trends of how and when they are willing to talk. Knowing these rhythms can make all the difference in reaching a teen’s heart, which is essential not just for discipleship, but for building relationships in general.

But how in the world do you figure out what those rhythms are? It’s pretty simple, really— we just have to pay attention. Here are some practical ways to help you discover and take advantage of your teen’s rhythms…

Connect With Your Kids, Family ·

Engage in the Hard Conversations (7 Ways to Connect with Your Teen, Part 4)

When is the last time your teen initiated a hard conversation all on their own? Wouldn’t it be nice if it always happened that way?

While we’re daydreaming, what if before they brought it up, they sent us an email outlining all their questions, giving us adequate time to look up Bible verses and expert answers? And once we were ready, what if they sat at our feet, soaking every word of wisdom like it was the latest Marvel movie?

Unfortunately, you and I both know that’s not how it works.

Sometimes, if we’re lucky, our teens do come to us with their questions. More often, though, we sense something is going on with them or notice them wrestling with something in current culture, and it’s up to us to make those conversations happen. How do we do it? Here are a few tips on how to approach these hard conversations…

Connect With Your Kids ·

7 Ways to Connect with Your Teen (Part 1: Pray)

The “teen years” can be difficult. Relating with our teens on a deep level can be even more difficult. But I believe being intentional about connecting with our teens is the best investment we can make!

While there is no formula for perfect parenting, I want to share 7 practical ways you can connect with your teen. For the next seven weeks, we will talk about each of these areas in more detail and how they can positively influence our relationship with our teens.

Let’s start with PRAYER…

Faith, Family ·

The Best Way to Prepare for Something New

If you are anything like me, I tend to pray either very generally for my kids (Lord, let them love You!) or very selfishly (Lord, keep them safe. Lord, don’t let me kill them if they sass me again!). While there is nothing wrong with these prayers- I am a firm believer that God loves for us to come to Him with whatever is on our hearts- I have found that praying God’s Word releases an entirely different kind of power.

Family ·

Parenting Teens in a Virtual World (Part 2): Guidelines for Staying Safe, Steady, and Sane On-line

I will never forget the first night we brought Sarah home from the hospital. She was screaming her little head off and then doing this weird gagging thing, like a cat with a hairball. As her face turned purple, we panicked and called the nurse line, and all I could think was, “How in the world am I supposed to keep this little person alive?!”

Parenting teens in the technology age can feel a lot like that.

It’s scary and dangerous and there are so many unknowns. It can be hard to know where to start and even harder to control. We want to protect our children and give them independence at the same time, all without causing World War III in our homes. Is that even possible?

In Part 1 of this series, we covered some things you can do before your teens enter the digital world. Today I want to share some things we have learned as we’ve navigated this challenge with our teen girls over the past few years…

Family, Parenting, Uncategorized ·

Parenting Teens in a Virtual World (Part One): 8 Things to Do Before You Give Your Teen Access to Social Media

I should be honest with you. If it were up to me, our kids would never have gotten phones or texting or social media. Ever. Between the danger and the drama and the addiction, I would have been happy to pick us all up and move to the Amish country. Fortunately for our kids, Jeff is way cooler than I am, and he was able to convince me that technology- and social media- are likely going to be a part of their lives forever.

“We have a choice,” he told me. “We can deny them access now and risk them sneaking it behind our backs or having to figure it out on their own in a college atmosphere, or we can choose to navigate this road alongside them, allowing them to make their mistakes with us by their side to guide them, and if necessary, protect them.”

Yeah, I married a good man. I think I’ll keep him.

So anyway, here are eight things we recommend you do BEFORE you give your teen access to social media…

Faith, Family, Uncategorized ·

Investing in Teens, Part 3: Ready to Listen

It’s 11:27pm and my bed is calling. I finish brushing my teeth and walk into my bedroom, and then hear footsteps in the hallway. “Hey Momma, do you have a minute?”
Why is it my teens never want to talk when I’m ready to listen? It seems like, without fail, they always approach me at the most inconvenient times!
Oh, that happens to you, too?

As exhausting as parenting can be some days, our time to speak into our teens lives is limited, and we cannot waste it. But before we can speak, we must be intentional about listening, so they know how much we care.

Today I want to share a few ways we can make the most of opportunities to get our kids talking, so we’ll be ready to listen when the time comes.

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